Blanked Out

It seems to me that these past few days, I've been waking up later than what I expected. Maybe I'm starting to get comfortable with the mattresses of Perkins...no I'm just kidding, I just need to try to sleep earlier. But today I was prepared for class. I recall Dean Almandrez yesterday saying that she'll buy us Dunkin Donuts and I was really excited since I never had Dunkin Donuts before. We started off class by watching a short clip of Sister Act, then analyzed it as a class. We talked about the importance of how the clip showed the leader working and encouraging her follower to sing good, no matter how bad they were.

 

Lunch time with Theo

My favorite part of the day was definitely playing Guesstures, which is basically like charades. Of course my competitive side came out of me and I was really happy when we were playing this game. We divided into 2 groups and went on to play. The best part about it was that it was timed, so it made everything more intense, entertaining, and most importantly fun. I was a little afraid to go up and act out the words, simply because it seemed hard. But I had to take one for the team and later on went to act. The words that I picked were surprisingly easy enough for my team to guess them all. I guess it was my outstanding (cough) acting that helped my team take the lead. Unfortunately my team lost by 6 points, but that's okay, I was just glad to be able to play the game and just have fun. After this we were divided into groups of 5 and did 3 small case studies in which we were given scenarios to talk about in the group and later on discuss in class. 

The next activity was definitely the most surprising part of the day: a scavenger hunt! A really physical scavenger hunt, seriously, we literally had to walk around the whole Brown Campus just to find the things listed on the paper. Aside from that we also had to take pictures with some people regarding what it said on the paper and also ask what misogyny meant. It was pretty funny since my team was running around the Main Green as if we were crazy. It felt like a huge competition like everyone was pitted against each other, but after we gathered together at 11:15, Dean Almandrez mentioned something that really changed me. She asked why we were against each other and that we should have worked together as a whole group. As women, we should be able to work together and not always compete. Dean Almandrez also gave us an example of the rope and how we should be able to get to the other side of it without competing. This made me realized; not everything has to be a competition. I felt so selfish and was filled with the pride and motivation of trying to win that I forgot that we were all just one big team. I can't really explain it, but I was really happy with this activity no matter how tiring it was. But now everything makes sense and I understand what Dean Almandrez was trying to imply in doing this activity. Now I'll try to be less competitive and understand that everyone is your teammate.

Meditating before the presentation didn't really help

The second part of class was the more emotional part of the day for me. The ten students that had to leave earlier on Friday would present their action plans on Thursday instead so today would be the practice presentation for them. I chose to go second, just to get everything over with and relax for the rest of the class. It was finally my turn. I walked up front said a few words....and just blanked out. I literally paused for a good 10 seconds and just stared blankly into the class. I was lost in words, and I had no idea why. It wasn't even the end of it, I tried the second time with a little more confidence but it turned out to be the same outcome. I blanked out again. This was really a surprise to me, because usually I am good with public speaking. But today something was just so different, and I couldn't understand why. After Thao went with her presentation, Dean Almandrez called for a break and pulled me aside. She told me that there is no reason to be afraid of going up to speak and that I am capable of doing it. I'm not going to lie, I did tear up a little and got emotional for a bit. I guess sometimes we all have our moments that we can't hide forever. So I was relieved to be able to let my inner emotions out. I think that the third times the charm, because after everyone else went, all eyes were on me now. When I got up the class cheered and encouraged me to try my hardest. I was really happy because I could see that they were all supporting me. Once I was up there (again) I literally spoke my heart out. Everything was making sense and all the things in my mind about my action plan was coming out. I cracked a couple of jokes here and there and it really made my speech strong. What I learned out of this practice presentation was to just be myself. I noticed that during the first two tries I was pretending to be someone that wasn't me. I was trying be the best public speaker out there where in reality all I had to do was be myself. Hopefully I'll have the same confidence at the actual presentation tomorrow.